The King of Procrastination

A quote from a BBC article, giving an amusing two paragraph synopsis of Switzerland:

Switzerland is what was left over when the Europeans formed their nation states. Italian, French and German ultra-conservatives escaped to the mountains, joined forces and then created 500 years of peace, the cuckoo clock and the gnomes of Zurich.

Today the Swiss feel a bit disorientated, because the country's business model - neutrality - is problematic. Totally surrounded by the EU, they "have no-one to be neutral against".

In more news, today I found out for the first time (being naïve and ill-informed) that Malaysia has a king! Or at least that’s what the paper here said – apparently this is an elected head of state, in a constitutional monarchy. Learn something every day!

Perhaps because I’m American, the whole concept of kings and royalty is somewhat bizarre but also fascinating – in the same way that a fuzzy yellow bobble-head daschund in a roadhouse trinket shop in South Carolina might be fascinating, I’m there, it’s there, there’s nothing else to do… Anyway, speaking of kings, anybody who wants to read the ramblings of the King Father of Cambodia can go to this site which never fails to amuse me.

Vietnam used to have royalty, now it has the guys with REAL motorcycles lording it over the rest of us…! The former prince of Vietnam died last weekend. He was born on Réunion – some of the royal family was ‘banished’ by the French colonial government to Réunion! I guess it would be a good place of banishment, some odd thousands of miles of ocean away from everything else, but it always seemed appealing to me. Mostly because it is really too small to show up on a globe but, since there isn’t anything else anywhere near it, it does show up.

Now that I’ve gotten all that important information out of my head, perhaps I can get some work done!

My Daring Dictionary

I have the funniest set of dictionaries ever. Arriving in Vietnam as a student I bought 'pocket' Vietnamese-English and English-Vietnamese dictionaries. That is 'pocket' as in my Grandpa's bib overalls pocket, not as in any pocket I've got, but they are hardly up to Oxford Unabridged standard either. They are both "EXCLUSIVELY designed for Vietnamese students" which is why they probably cost a dollar, which is I why I chose them. I keep going to the bookstore and looking at real dictionaries, but real dictionaries have no character. I can find Vietnamese words for English words I didn't even know existed. For instance, insipidity. I can see the logic in that, but if I ever heard anyone actually use that word in a sentence, I would remember it, and I don't. On sentences, the example sentences are classic.

"I bitterly fail in this dusty world And must be content to hand my wish to the future."
"Everytime coming the autumn I dream of my childhood."
"It's time you woke up the fact that you're not very popular."
"Do you believe that stories about fairies exist?"
"Can you board and lodge me?"
And the winner of the insipidity contest:
"Thinking of her unfaithful character is the best way to distract myself from missing her melancholy-eyed face."

I can't read that without laughing, shouldn't dictionaries make you laugh? The E-V dictionary has an entry for "imbibition," unfortunately it doesn't have a sentence to go with it. Actually it doesn't have a definition either, or a translation or anything, only imbibition, so all exclusively Vietnamese students know for a fact that imbibition is indeed a word of some kind, with some meaning, to be used in some context or another... Allow me to offer a sentence.

"The inquest investigating the inhibition of imbibition was inhibited by its inimitable insipidity."

:)

Gloria Jean’s Bún Chả

When I was in Hanoi the first time, on the road from the ‘cafés and restaurants with English menus’ district back to my house, one block was a giant noisy hole-in-the-ground, surrounded by a corrugated iron fence, further surrounded by construction workers drinking rượu, hút thuốc lá-ing and yelling HELLO and various other things at funny-looking foreign passers-by. Construction workers and truck drivers are the same everywhere; I can say that since I am one. Was one. Anyway, what was that hole-in-the-ground is now a high-rise building which, having driven past about a million times without ever really looking at it, I was inspired to go into the other day. There is motorbike parking down the hill to level minus two, with pipes and things hanging about making it a good idea to keep a helmet on, particularly when you are walking.

The first four floors are a shopping mall, complete with fashion shops, electronics spilling into the walkways shouting "Hey buy me, I’m shiny," squeaky clean restaurants with lacquered bamboo arbores draped in iridescent green plastic with vague vine-like qualities, sappy-jazz music (yes that is a real genre…), and a teeny-bopper arcade with what appears to be papier-mâché rocks hanging over the door. Looking out the window over the most hygienic bún chả I have ever eaten, the rest of the block is a wasteland of mud, gravel, boulders, and people parking motorbikes. The hole-in-the-ground apparently just missed being squashed by this building, and has moved next door, complete with above-mentioned accoutrements. Across the street are the usual sidewalk cafés selling coffee and bread and noodles and anything, for about 30 cents each. On the way out I saw Gloria Jean’s Coffee shop. One of the things I like best about Vietnam is the surprisingly good coffee you can get on any street corner, but having Gloria Jean’s down the street isn’t a bad thing either!